Reflections & Resolutions - Damsel In Dior

Damsel Diaries 6 years ago Reflections & Resolutions

There’s a reason why I didn’t make a list of resolutions last year.

2017 was a very difficult year for me. Entering 7 years of marriage, surviving the strain from running two small business and putting other things and other people before Grant were honestly taking a huge toll on my marriage. I entered 2018 with a bunch of unknowns and as January approached, I honestly did not feel optimistic enough to revisit my list from 2017 and reflect on my failures, goals missed and the long list of things I couldn’t cross off my list.

As I licked my wounds and emotional bruises from the year prior, I entered 2018 feeling curiously hopeful. Grant and I took a collective deep breath and made a secret, joint resolution for 2018 to choose “us” over everything else.

No longer would I hop on a last minute red eye flight to New York or stay a few extra nights in Paris for a project. Pushing an extra hour out with the girls versus heading home early to watch a movie wasn’t going to be a debate. Instead of burying our heads into work and other projects, we would prioritize our marriage and equally have an active participation in rebuilding on what we knew was an incredible relationship. I was terrified; afraid that maybe our marriage was broken beyond repair, the year started out a bit rocky.

The biggest life lesson I’ve taken from 2018 is that you must take the bad with the good. There honestly, thankfully, was not a ton of “bad” for me in 2018. But the amazing fortunes we’ve had this year did not come easy, nor did they come without sacrifice, commitment, dedication and the lessons learned from painful years past.

The clouds from previous storms parted for us at the end of 2017 and this past year we were welcomed with a ray of light. Instead of overanalyzing, overthinking and over-planning our lives and our marriage, we just let go and put faith in the stars and the stars have never shined more brightly on us than they do now. We never said “let’s have a baby!” but she has entered our lives at the perfect time and in the most perfect way and as a result I am now able to see clearly what the future holds. It’s a wonderful place to be, and one in which I am happy to write down my hopes and dreams for the impending year.

I want to thank you for reading this blog and following along in my amazing journey. While I cannot always write about my experiences as they are happening in real time, I have always and will always turn to this space to reflect and document. It is my favorite medium to do so. And no matter if there is one reader or 100,000, I am just so thankful to create, to write and to share my life with each and every one of you. So, Thank you.

Without further adieu, my resolutions for 2019:

Have our baby.
Continue to practice self compassion and acceptance. There will be no “bounce back” because I am only moving forward in life.
Have at least 1 “bed day” every month where I don’t leave the house, order in food and be super duper lazy.
Eat healthier and visit the gym more.
Finish my book. This is a big one, but I’ve already started it and this is my year!
Learn how to be the best Mother I can be while also accepting that I am not going to be perfect.
Learn more about rose gardening and spend more time in my garden.
Play more piano.
Travel with our baby to another country {maybe Italy}.
Continue to be curious and learn about new topics, books, subjects as they arise.
Renew my vows to Grant.
Surprise myself.
Send more hand-written notes via snail mail.
Travel to one new destination.
Eliminate negative energy in my life.
Find an office space that makes sense for Grant and I and continue to grow our businesses and new ventures.
Continue to create content that my readers enjoy.
Learn new recipes and return to the kitchen {I took a hiatus in 2018!}.
Stop. Biting. My. Nails.
Breathe more and let go of the negative voices in my head.