Family 6 years ago What NOT to Expect When You're Expecting
I walked into the salon the other day and ran in to an old friend who was excited that she “got to see me while I was pregnant.”
She proceeded to offer her unprompted reassurance that I should not worry about the months after the baby comes. “It’s not that hard,” she stressed and continued to tell me that outside of feeding, changing and watching the baby sleep that I would almost feel bored in the beginning. I must say that while I didn’t ask for it, I appreciated her candid input.
Toward the end of my hair appointment I began to exit the salon and ran into, yet another, friend who I stopped to chit chat for a while {I go to a popular salon in LA, what can I say!?}.
You won’t feel like yourself ever again. The old you is gone.
This person felt compelled to share how hard the first few months are going to be and continued to assure me that I shouldn’t worry about feeling crazy, sad or flat out ugly during my first few month of postpartum. She flat out said to me “You won’t feel like yourself ever again. The old you is gone.”
As I walked to my car, jaw dragging on the floor, I also couldn’t help but laugh at the two polar opposite conversations I’d had in the salon. Not only did I not ask either of these individuals for any input whatsoever, but both of the conversations left me feeling…well, weird. Who and what was I supposed to listen to? What advice should I or shouldn’t I read into? If there is one thing that I have learned in my 8 months of pregnancy thus far it’s that there is honestly nothing that can prepare you for being pregnant. I expected to feel tired. I expected to feel huge. And I expected to have a mixed bag of emotions that range from pure joy, elation, happiness and love to feelings of frustration, loneliness and sadness. You can expect a lot, but here are a few things that I did not expect when I got pregnant.
Do Not Expect Everyone To Love Pregnant Women
I don’t expect everyone to love me, pregnant or not, and I accept this. But I was quite surprised by the some of the reactions to my pregnant belly on the faces of others. Long story short: During my second trimester I struggled to find a workout that felt right so I experimented with Pilates. I did a ton of research to find a studio in Los Angeles that was open to pregnant women and held classes that were open to doing modifications. I had just started to “pop” and was still feeling a bit insecure about working out at all. My instructor was obviously annoyed that I was in the class. Huffing, puffing, rolling her eyes at me while looking down at my stomach – it was very very apparent that she was not feeling the fact that I was taking her class. Listen: Everyone has their own things/problems /issues that they are going through so who knows what her deal was. Similar experiences came my direction in other public places such as airports, malls and elevators with people eye rolling, pushing and being flat out rude. Bottom Line? Not everyone is going to welcome your bump with belly rubs and a smile {and that’s okay!}.
Do Not Expect Your Friends To Be There
This was an eye opener. Maybe it’s because we travel a ton and in all honesty we have been home more than usual to notice how little time I’ve spent with my friends over the past 9 months. I was quite surprised by how many of my relationships changed throughout my pregnancy. I expected some of my family members and friends to understand and check in more. Perhaps I could be putting in more effort in this department as well, but there were a lot of times that I’ve felt truly isolated and left out because I couldn’t be out and about at cocktail events. It’s complicated, but you look at relationships differently and start to see the people who really step up to be there for you when you need them in a new way.
Do Not Expect No Period Cramps
Maybe not for everyone but I cramped up badly throughout this entire pregnancy. Round ligament pains feel very much like period cramps. A small price to pay, but also an eye opener for me as I thought I’d be period cramp free for 9 months {no dice!}.
It's Not You
The baby will take over every thought, every emotion. You literally have zero control!
Do Not Expect To Feel Like Yourself
Sure there were days that I’ve felt like my “old self,” but you honestly are going through something huge and your hormones are taking complete control over everything. This is totally normal and there is nothing wrong with you. When I sit down and really think about pregnancy, it makes complete sense as to why I feel crazy, exhausted and on edge over the dumbest things imaginable. Irrationally, I honestly believed that I would be able to control my emotions better than I was able to at times. But at the end of the day, sometimes pregnancy just makes you a crazy person and you have to let go of the idea that you have any control over it.
Do Not Expect To Bond With Your Unborn Baby
It took me quite some time to feel “connected” to my daughter. Woah, that still feels weird just typing it. It wasn’t until around 29 weeks along that I started to honestly feel a connection with what was happening on the inside of my body. It’s the truth. So don’t beat yourself up if you don’t, or ever, feel a true bonding connection to your unborn baby.
Do Not Expect It To Be 9 Months
It’s 10 months, not 9 and whoever said it was 9 needs a swift kick to the balls (hah).
Do Not Expect Your Relationship To Stay The Same
I think one of the best things about my pregnancy is how much it’s enhanced my relationship with Grant. I honestly went into this thinking I couldn’t love him any more than I already did, but somehow it’s ten-fold. If you are one of the lucky ones, you will be quite surprised by how much your partner steps up for you during this time. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.
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