Mental Health 5 years ago Things I'm Afraid To Tell You About Motherhood
Back by popular demand: The new series of blog posts where I go into too much detail about how imperfect my life is.
All jokes aside, I saw such a strong response from you guys about the “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You” that I decided to expand into other areas of my life. I thought I’d start with one of the areas that so many women are the most critical on, and that’s motherhood. I know that it’s hard to not feel overwhelmed right now and like we aren’t doing a good enough job at keeping our babies entertained.
During a time when many of us are holed up at home to quarantine for coronavirus I feel like this post is necessary to hear so you know that no one is perfect!!
Why are we so hard on ourselves? While I strive to practice self compassion every day and I know in my heart that there is no such thing as a “perfect parent,” it’s still hard to check myself. One of my new favorite shows that I binged watched a few weeks ago was “Workin’ Moms.” Good God did I need that laugh! I cried tears of happiness and relief after watching the first episode. “I’m not alone!” I said to myself.
One way I strive for levity is by having a sense of humor through it all. I also try to be okay with giving the best I can give day to day. Some days my “best” is better than others. Some days my “best” is asking for help because I cannot do everything.
We can all just do our best. BUT, we can also laugh, commiserate and support one another when the going gets tough.
So, here are a few {funny and not so funny} things that I’m afraid to admit that I’ve done in my first year of motherhood.
I Let June Watch YouTube During Diaper Changes
Listen ladies: I’m all about living that screen free life so long as my daughter isn’t tossing and turning herself in feces. The girl just will.not.sit.still. during diaper changes and the one way I’ve found to make all of our lives easier is to let her watch a few minutes of “Baby Bum.” Now, the worst part of our day is now the best and I have released myself of feeling screen guilt.
I Don’t Care About Pacifiers
I genuinely thought that, before having a baby, I would never be “that parent” that allowed my child to have a pacifier. There’s such a stigma around them and I keep hearing that after the one-year mark that we should break the pacifier habit. Honestly? I really don’t care. I’m in no rush to have June give up her one vice. She doesn’t attach to snuggly bunnies or blankets. At night, all she wants is her 2 pacifiers. One in her hand and one in her mouth – no animals or lovies attached. So be it!
I Use A Bumper
It is important to note that I only started using a bumper on June’s crib after she started crawling. Even then, I’ve had several people scare me into not using one, because children can use bumper’s as a stepping stool to crawl out of the crib. However, I pull June’s bumper down and position the mattress on top of it so that there’s only a inch or two surrounding her mattress. This prevents her pacifier and arms from falling through the crib. She also loves snuggling up with her bumper at night and since she doesn’t have a snuggly or lovie toy, we let her have her bumper.
We Let Her Cry
We don’t let her “cry it out,” but if June cries {no matter where she is}, we wait at least 30 seconds to one minute before reacting. Don’t get me wrong: if she falls and then {pause} she starts crying, I will calmly tell her exactly what happened and rush to her aid. But if she’s using crying as a form of getting our attention we take a page from the french rule book and “le pause.” It really does work for us.
I Do Not Play Baby Shark
Nope. Sorry. Trying to skip that era.
I’m Not Good At This
I’m sure everyone feels this way {or at least I hope I’m not alone}. Sometimes I truly question if I’m just not good at the whole juggling act of being a mom, a working mom and running our household. It’s a lot to handle!!! And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there are days that go by where I genuinely feel like a failure. Ironically, those are also the days where June does something sweet to reassure me. She’ll grab my hand and pull me into a room. She’ll splash the water in my bath tub while I’m taking a soak. She’ll let out a really loud scream followed by a laugh. And in those moments, all of my own insecurities melt away and I’m quickly brought back into our reality, our bubble and our world where everything really is perfect – perfectly imperfect and purely our own.
She Plays in the Mud
Grant gets a bit paranoid when I let June walk around the backyard barefoot. Sometimes I even look the other way if she wants to see what grass or dirt tastes like. She’s exploring the world around her! I won’t stand by if she swallows a rock or an entire handful of dirt, but I’m also not about to race over to swat her hand down as she ventures out on her own.
June Doesn’t Have A Lot
I honestly thought I would be one of “those” moms who always had her daughter perfectly dressed in the cutest matching outfits and shoes. Honestly, I am the worst. June doesn’t have a ton of clothes. I’m the Creative Director for 1212 so she lives in her basics from 1212 {as photographed above} but outside of that she really doesn’t have a ton of clothes or toys. I hope I don’t regret not dressing her up more later on in life when she’s older and has more of an opinion on the matter. But for now I am just less concerned about the “things” she has.
Okay ladies, it’s your turn! What makes you a “bad” mom 😉 (Kidding)
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