Share

Sometimes I genuinely feel like I am going crazy.

The other night I looked up which oddity Howard Hughes was diagnosed with because I remember watching a scene from the Aviator where he locks himself in the room for days. While I have yet to lock myself in a room for days, I cannot begin to count the endless amount of anxiety attacks I’ve had, curled up on the bathroom floor.

I also cannot begin to count the hundreds of times I have been late, dropped the ball or forgotten something. I set my calendar alerts to remind me of anything that is important {which is a lot}, yet even a calendar pop up reminder on my cell phone that it’s my Mom’s birthday sometimes isn’t enough.

Yes, I once forgot my Mom’s birthday.

Forgetfulness, inability to focus and feelings of distractedness are daily occurrences which all lead me to feeling quite crazy most of the time. Sometimes I will find myself sitting on the couch at night jumping from thought to thought, topic to topic and idea to idea faster than they can even enter and exit my brain – it feels like my mind is a high speed train that is about to explode off the rails.

I had a mini-meltdown this week in my therapists office. I know I have mentioned a time or two that I am diagnosed with ADD, however it feels like I drop it into posts here and there and I’ve never really spoken to my life as an adult with Attention Deficit Disorder.

I have been managing ADD since I was first tested in Jr. High and slowly but surely I’ve learned to cope in many ways. I have a very strategic way of setting up my calendar with constant reminders and it feels like I am constantly pre-planning my life around temperature control and selecting noise appropriate restaurants. For example, if I am in a restaurant that reaches a particular noise decimal, I physically cannot stand to be there. The walls start to close in, voices start talking in my head and all I can focus on is the murmur of noise that is circulating around me like a hurricane. I am also this way with the temperature in rooms. Tiny ticks and high pitched noise, pretty much the loudest or softest noise can completely throw off my concentration, lead me to the point of a complete panic attack meltdown.

It isn’t something I’ve talked about too much because it’s very hard to put into words just how much it can overtake my life.

My ADD is also always affected when I’m wearing uncomfortable clothing. I hate being in tight clothes and if there’s anything {a tag, a sleeve that is too short or too long, a bra strap that is twisted} that is a touch off with my outfit then I, again, feel like I slowly spiral out of control.

The smallest thing can set me off into a tailspin of hyper-focus.

So, why did I have a meltdown this week? For one, I have not been practicing my morning routine. I have not been exercising nor have I been taking 20 minutes to myself each day for a personal “check in” – all things that my therapist pointed out to me.

I work in a very instant, fast-paced industry. The moment I wake up each morning the first thing I think about is what I’m posting to Instagram, what shoot I have, what conference calls need to be taken and from sun up to sun down it’s a constant blur of content creation, social media updates and managing the business side to blogging. December-January is always a very hectic time of year for me {like everyone} but I found this week to be a true wake up call when my therapist pointed out the most important thing I can do to avoid break downs, is to take care of my mind.

When I sat down to write this piece, I felt a bit defensive. The truth is, I would not change my ADD/OCD mind for anything else in the world. While I am still struggling to find ways to manage and cope with my ADD, it is thanks to my hyper-focus and OCD planning that have led my business to succeed. When I pick something to do, I do it with all of my attention, all of my heart and soul. The largest misconception about people with ADD is that we are all hyper, forgetful and {dare I say it} stupid. I am here to tell you that I refuse those awful stereotypes and, quite honestly, I think that people diagnosed with an ADD mind are special in that they are gifted with abilities that no one else has.

After my mini-meltdown this week, I shared my story with Grant and we mapped out a plan to try to do new active things together. Instead of overwhelming my schedule with a crazy work out plan, we’re going to start setting the clock an hour earlier and get outdoors every morning and try new things like hiking, walks on the beach and yoga/meditation which always seem to really help provide balance in my life.

Here are a few other ways I cope with ADD:

01. Know your limits and when to say “No.” Impulsiveness can lead adults with ADD to agree to too many projects at work or make too many social engagements. A jam packed schedule will only leave you feeling overwhelmed, tired and it will affect the quality of your life.

02. Use Timers. I will map out my day using time slots per tasks and set timers for each one. For example, I can get completely lost in the world of Pinterest when I’m simply trying to “pin” 5 things a day. This task should only take 20 minutes, so I set a timer.

03. Always plan to be early and set your calendar 10-15 minutes earlier than you are supposed to be somewhere.

04. Exercise daily. Even if it’s just a walk around the block! By getting the blood circulating it will help clear your mind of all the clutter.

05. Set reminders for important dates that you do not want to forget. If you need to buy a gift for someone, set a reminder for that too.

06. Create an auto-pay for all of your bills so they are never past due.

07. I just got an Amazon Echo so I’m starting to incorporate Alexa more in my life. She helps remind me to do things.

08. I forget to eat. I know. This might seem insignificant but having breakfast is really important {and my least favorite meal of the day} to keep your blood sugar balanced. I resolved this by having a morning smoothie instead.

09. I am super lucky that I have a loving partner who knows when I’ve reached my boundaries. Grant will give me a gentle nod when he notices that I might be hyper focusing too much on one thing for too long. “Let’s take a walk around the block,” he will suggest to get me to hit reset.

10. Keep a notebook by your bed and write down everything you don’t want to forget when you wake up the next day. I do this every night because I have a hard time winding down my mind before bed.

Do you struggle with ADD? How do you cope? Please share your story in the comments!