Damsel Diaries 11 years ago DAMSEL DIARIES // A PITY
We have all been there. Regardless of age, sex, weight or we have all, at some point, thrown ourselves a pity party.
I am not perfect. I have a crooked nose from breaking it twice. The 30 years of my life are beginning to show in the deep lines on my huge forehead. I’ve chipped my front tooth so many times that it is seemingly impossible to get it looking straight, which is why I rarely smile in photos on the blog. One of my eyes is slightly larger than the other, thus the sunglasses {not to mention I hate putting on make-up everyday, but who doesn’t!?}.
Every time I look at the dimple on my right upper thigh it feels like a knife is being dug into my gut. Oh, and did I mention that I have on & off hyperhidrosis? Sexy right? Every 6 months I have to get botox injections into my arm pits so I won’t ruin all of my clothes & avoid severe embarrassment from excessive sweating. And yes, I smoke cigarettes from time to time and enjoy a good glass of wine at the end of the day {sigh}.
On an internal level I battle with severe PCOS mood swings. I screw up on the little details like grammar, apostrophes & misspellings, thanks to life long ADD. I am paranoid that I am going to die by 40 and even more paranoid that I am going to be killed by a random person who is breaking into my house.
Having the past two weeks off from running has freed up time to focus on work, but during my long walks in the afternoon, it has also freed up some time to throw myself a big fat pity party about not being able to run.
Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Who are we in competition with? Each other? Society? As I was pitifully walking around my neighborhood I focused on drowning out my inner voice of sorrow to ask myself who is picking me apart?
Me.
I am my own worst enemy. I have never been the type of woman who feels competitive with or jealous of other women. The only time you should feel competitive is during a healthy game of scrabble or a fun match of tennis. If you are feeling jealous or competitive with someone, it is a big red flag that you need to take one long, hard good look in the mirror and ask why?
I hope that in some small way, this blog post provides a bit of comfort to my fellow Damsels out there who may be feeling a bit distressed from time to time. You are not alone and no one, and I mean no one, is perfect.
*I write from my heart, not from my head, so please excuse any typos*
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