Outfits 4 years ago Serendipitous
I found myself sitting on a dark green park bench in New York yesterday with no agenda other than allowing my Advil to kick in so I could go for a run.
I was just off the duck pond and the constant shuffle of tourists mixed with upper east siders passed by steadily, all eagerly enjoying the nice weather. I felt the urge to get up and run. I have this big problem with learning how to sit still lately. Being present is my biggest challenge. And just as I was about to stand, a younger man sat almost too close to me. His hair was long, pants a bit dirty and he was carrying a very greasy brown paper bag. I glanced down at the other five park benches that lined up against ours, all empty.
The people who rushed passed were all doing the same song and dance we all do. Hustling and bustling through the park while not only trying to take in a moment of peace and serenity but while also keeping in time with the days agenda. Instead of getting up and moving along with my own agenda, I sat and I waited. I waited very patiently, but time was running slow. I began a competition with myself to see how long I could just sit there and be alone. The man next to me left as I out sat 4 large groups of tourists, 2 schools of children, 3 fisherman, a squirrel and a couple of close encounters with the birds swerving through the surrounding trees.
I had one song on repeat and I sat on that bench for over an hour, waiting for something to happen. But nothing did. A feeling of peace overcame me and I started to feel myself melting into the park bench. It somehow became the only thing that felt familiar to me. It became my protective stall from all of my inner jogging reflections. And just as I had been afraid of sitting still, I quickly became afraid to move. I didn’t want to remove myself from the park bench that had so firmly grabbed a hold of me and wouldn’t let go.
I gave myself one more repeat of the tune and decided it was time.
I got off the bench and did the only thing that came naturally, I ran toward the sun.
Photos by Alexandra Gibbs
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