Share

“Are you going to have another one?” is one of the top questions I’ve gotten in the past year.

I don’t judge people for asking this question, but I’m always taken aback by the flippant way it comes out of their mouth.

When is number two?

I am honestly just starting to come up for air after the past year of healing, both physically and mentally. Yes, it has taken me an entire year to fully wrap my head around the events that took place after I delivered June. In case you missed the memo, after I delivered June things took a turn south as my blood pressure dropped and placenta would not pass {see video here}. My placenta was attached so deeply and firmly inside me, that the doctor had to reach in and pull it out, resulting in third degree tears. It was horrific.

{TMI Alert: Getting more graphic after this point}

The months after my delivery, I went through what I figured was typical postpartum stuff. And even though I told my doctor time and time again that my periods were feeling very different and that my leg was still aching from SPD {Symphysis pubis dysfunction}. She signed off for me to go about my life, but something just still didn’t feel right.

Just to give you a quick history: About 7 or 8 years ago, I was told I have PCOS {Polycystic ovary syndrome}. I’ve gotten pretty used to dealing with “bad periods.” Just before my diagnosis, I had an emergency surgery to remove a contorted ovarian cyst. We also believe that it was the cause of a miscarriage I suffered from many years after that.

Flash forward to last year, postpartum: My periods were heavy, extremely heavy, resulting in golf ball sized blood clots {I know, gross} and they would last longer than a week. I would also get shooting pain down my leg like a lightening bolt when doing simple things like standing up from a chair or walking up the stairs {which is totally unrelated}. I kept going back to my OB, but I was brushed off that I must just have “bad periods.”

You guys, there would be days that I could hardly function the pain was so severe and bleeding was so bad that I could barely leave the bathroom.

I knew I needed a second opinion but months went by and life got in the way. I honestly just chalked it all up to postpartum adjustment. I also thought maybe it was my PCOS getting worse. It wasn’t until only a few weeks ago that I finally found a doctor, my “third” opinion, who looked past the typical textbook response and gave me some answers.

After countless hours staying up at night doing research on all sorts of topics, dozens upon dozens of doctors appointments, MRI’s and ultrasounds I am finally starting to get some true answers about what is happening with my body.

My new doctor patiently listened to my story. I told her all about my pregnancy, labor and delivery and postpartum recovery.

I have never talked about how horrible pregnancy was for me, or the aftermath, because I feel an extreme amount of guilt for even opening up about my ailments because I do not want to seem ungrateful for the miracle that I could even get pregnant and have a beautiful baby.

After listening to me, doing an ultrasound exam and evaluation my medical charts, I was diagnosed with adenomyosis.

Adenomyosis, which is very similar to endometriosis, is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus. The condition can cause severe menstrual cramps, lower abdominal pressure, and bloating before menstrual periods and can result in heavy periods. The condition is typically found in women between the ages of 35 and 50 {I’m 36}.

Adenomyosis can be difficult to diagnose — and, without seeing a specialist, symptoms like heavy bleeding and pelvic pain are often dismissed. My doctor says that if I get pregnant again and wish to deliver vaginally, that I run an increased risk of hemorrhaging {damn}. The second fun piece of information I was given was that during my delivery I was most likely dealing with an undetected, potentially life threatening pregnancy complication called placenta accreta.

After you deliver, your placenta is supposed to come out. However, mine stayed attached inside my uterus. This can cause severe blood loss after delivery. Women with placenta accreta usually don’t display any signs or symptoms during pregnancy. Sometimes a doctor will detect it during a routine ultrasound.

It’s just so bizarre to me that I knew something was wrong in the delivery room after my labor. I could feel it in my bones the minute June was delivered.

After a year of healing from a broken tailbone, third degree tears and a new diagnosis of adenomyosis, I am honestly just so relieved to have some answers to what has been happening with my body since February 1, 2019. It’s taken a lot. A lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of tears {tears like crying, not tears like ouch} and a lot of frustration, but in the end I knew to trust my gut.

The only definitive cure for adenomyosis is a hysterectomy, or the removal of the uterus. This is often the treatment of choice for women with significant symptoms. Luckily, I’m not walking down that road. I’ve made a plan to get back on birth control for now {which helps with symptoms} and I am scheduled to see a naturopathic doctor to explore other options.

If any of you have PCOS or adenomyosis, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments below. I am still learning so much and doing a ton of research about it all.

“Are you going to have another one?” they ask. Well, I don’t want another near-death postpartum experience. I definitely don’t want another year of agonizing pain and periods. And I don’t want another doctor ignoring my symptoms and writing me off as another statistic.

But if it means I get another June…well then, maybe 🙂