Damsel Diaries 11 years ago Damsel Diaries // Pain for {Hopeful} Gain
This is the first time since New York that I have felt somewhat back to normal. As a souvenir I brought home a terrible pain {in my right knee} that seems to follow me everywhere I go. I once heard that if you break a rule once, then you are more likely to break many more. I broke the rules and now I hurt. I do not want to break any more rules and I do not want to hurt anymore. So, after a few days of light running, groaning and feeling pitiful, I decided it was time to suck it up and get out there again.
With each pounding step I took, the pain got worse and worse. A part of me actually enjoyed the pain as it delivered me an acute feeling of being alive. I somehow convinced myself that the agony was what I deserved after being so reckless over the past few months. Running is fun and all, but if you do not go about it very carefully you can find yourself in a great deal of misery.
After mile one, the aching seemed to numb itself out and, for the first time ever I gave myself an “I felt so-so” rating. My thoughts shifted toward seeing the amazing things that are happening in my life. I began to think about the story I would tell you, which is a regular tendency while I am running. Florence blasted through my ear buds telling me to “Shake it Out” and I truly felt like I did. With beautiful weather shooting through the trees my heart started to feel hopeful. I finally felt like I could fight through and let go of my injury.
As I finished my fastest 3 miles yet {29 minutes, not great but not bad either} the pain seemed to resurface stronger than before. The piercing ache shot all the way to my core as I limped back toward the house. While my intent was clear and running strong, my wounds remained raw. The learning lesson?
“In the end some of your greatest pain becomes some of your greatest strengths.”
*I write from my heart, not from my head, so please excuse any typos*
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